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Daily Wisdom

I’m often asked, in regards to coparenting, how @burch_bunch and I “split” holidays and events, since all of our pics seem to be of all of us together.

Simply; we don’t.
There isn’t a “my year” or “her year” with us.
It’s always “what are we doing for xyz?”

We look at our respected families plans and we create a plan that works with everyone’s schedules.

Stet doesn’t ever miss anything with my family, nor does he miss anything with hers or her husbands.

And typically, we’re all together, for every holiday.

It’s not uncommon for her, the kids and her husband to join “my” family for events, and vice versa.

It’s not uncommon for you to find me at coffee in deep convo with her husband’s mom, who’s one of my favorite people.

It’s not a “when are you picking up Stetson?”

It’s a “hey, I’m making xyz, are you staying for dinner or do y’all have plans?”

This is how it can be.
In my opinion, this is how it should be.

There’s never a dreaded conversation of time, money, manipulation or control.

We’re all a family.
All of us.
And we’re all friends.
Genuine friends.
We do life together.

Anything less, from whichever side, just perpetuates a narrative of pain, trauma, insecurity, expectations and frustration for your kids.

It takes both sides, 100%
If you’re in a relationship or remarried, it takes your partner as well.

We don’t use the term “ex.”
I’m Stetson’s dad.
She’s Stetson’s mom.

We don’t use the term “step.”
We use the word “bonus.”

You’re all a family, together, setting the bar for how your kids see, experience and feel love, safety, unity and possibility.

Corbin (his bonus dad) loves my son as his own.
And I love their girls like my own.

And together, we’re all having a blast raising some damn fine kids and celebrating each other as we all continue to win in life.

It’s all possible.
And I share this as a lighthouse, knowing many aren’t living this scenario.
For a season, we weren’t either….

But we won’t ever go back there.
It’s a storm that is unnecessary.

With you and for you,